{"id":120,"date":"2020-07-12T14:37:46","date_gmt":"2020-07-12T14:37:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/?p=120"},"modified":"2020-07-13T13:45:26","modified_gmt":"2020-07-13T13:45:26","slug":"confused-you-will-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/confused-you-will-be\/","title":{"rendered":"Confused? – You will be"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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I was asked in a quiz last week \u201cWhat is the collective noun for lemurs?\u201d. The answer – a conspiracy!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Got me googling and the first 3 that came up I think sums up the vicious triangular relationship between the Government (a parliament of owls), the media (a conspiracy of lemurs) and the people (a confusion of wildebeest).\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So poor old owl Boris dictates from up on high – \u201cStay safe but for gods sake get out of your homes and spend some money\u201d. The lemurs then scatter amongst us, filming and photographing our cock ups to feed into Piers, Susannah and Dr Hilary so they can tell us what a bunch of mindless idiots we are, and we, like the confusion of wildebeest we are, are bumping into one another without the foggiest idea which way to turn. We have seen the pictures of the crowded beaches and the jovial Liverpool celebrations which nearly resulted in the burning down of the Royal Liver Building (the irony!) and thought \u201cWhat are they doing?\u201d. But then I\u2019m sure we are all breaking the rules in one way or another primarily because we have completely lost track of what the rules actually are.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then the pubs open up again (AA meetings are still awaiting the go ahead). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMax of 6 to a group, 90 mins restriction in one venue, don\u2019t stand at the bar and keep 1 meter apart\u201d my 18 year old daughter explained.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd how many drinks are you allowed?\u201d I enquired, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs many as you can get down ya in 90 minutes\u201d. Then head to the next bar\u201d she said rolling her eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat might get a bit messy\u201d I ventured<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWHATEVER\u201d came the standard way of completing conversations in our house. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat was crystal clear is that drunk people can’t\/won’t socially distance\u201d explained an experienced police chief. They also struggle to walk, talk or order a kebab without falling over but didn\u2019t we know that already?! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So quiz question for this week \u201cwhats the collective noun for a group of drunk wildebeest?\u201d – <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A WHATEVER!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was asked in a quiz last week \u201cWhat is the collective noun for lemurs?\u201d. The answer – a conspiracy!\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":122,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-people"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Untitled-1-1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=120"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.croft-associates.com\/original\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}